Healing the Father Archetype in the Soul
In my years of therapeutic practice, I have realized the importance of flower essences in facilitating the personal development process. The flowers, literally, "flower" our being. Through a gradual process, the flower essences remove the obstructing layers of our true potential. They help to reveal the core spiritual identity, the real Self, or in astrological language, our Sun.
One flower essence which acts in a very remarkable way to heal fundamental issues in the soul is Baby Blue Eyes. According to Patricia Kaminski and Richard Katz (Flower Essence Repertory - 1998), Baby Blue Eyes is a useful essence to all who did not receive adequate emotional support through childhood, and where, in all likelihood, a healthy relationship with the father, or a positive father figure, was missing.
This flower essence
is especially beneficial for those who experience the father
wound through their vulnerability and sensitivity. It can also
be helpful for those who put a mask or cover over their painful
sensitivity, and instead display defensive characteristics
of cynicism and mistrust, emotional isolation, or even anti-social
and criminal tendencies. This beautiful, blue-eyed flower seems
to move straight to the individual's hardened personality,
softening and healing the soul's conflict.
Native to the state of California and southern Oregon, the Baby Blue Eyes (Nemophila menziesii) belongs to the Hydrophyllaceae, or "Waterleaf" family, whose prime characteristic is its great affinity for water. In fact, the humidity of the soil is an important factor to the growth of this specimen. This plant's affinity to the water element is passed to the individual through the flower essence. The Baby Blue Eyes seems to mine the water deeply hidden in the individual's soul, helping the soul to encounter and heal its innate sensitivity.
The pure blue color of this flower speaks of how the blue depths of the waters reflect the spiritual heavens. It is a picture of how the soul's capacity for sensitivity and creativity stem from being able to receive the influence of a higher divinity.
Working with my clients' astrological birth charts, I've been able to observe those for whom Baby Blue Eyes has played a fundamental role in their personal development. They presented, in most of the cases, a strong Pisces tone (the Sun, and eventually Mars, in the sign of Pisces, interacting with Neptune, Pluto, Uranus or Saturn). The vulnerability and sensitivity of such individuals, due to their highly compassionate "water" nature, seems - in the first phase of life - to attract, tough, disappointing, and traumatic circumstances. These situations can cast into doubt his or her faith, destroying trust in relationships and the larger world.
My cases show that both men and women had issues concerning the father figure. Feelings of abandonment, absence, disappointment, betrayal, violence, or maltreatment, especially among my female clients, who also presented serious difficulties in their love relationships. In all these cases, Baby Blue Eyes was indicated for use.
One of my clients came to me three months after her father's death. She was going through a period of conflict with her husband, and was thinking about separation. She blamed her now-deceased father for all her bad luck. She told me her father had squandered all the family's money in unsuccessful businesses, and afterwards, in addictions. For this reason, she depended upon her husband financially and couldn't afford to get a divorce.
She told me she couldn't shed a tear when her father passed away. Baby Blue Eyes was included in her formula in conjunction with Willow and some essences for emotional stability (Scleranthus, Elm, Five Flower Formula). When she returned three months later, she told me she had repeated this same formula throughout the entire period. She felt safer, calmer and more confident. The archetypal healing prompted by the Baby Blue Eyes was especially striking in the client's dream life. She related this significant dream:
She was at her father's funeral. As she approached the coffin, her father opened his eyes and stared at her for a long time. His eyes were the most beautiful blue that she had ever seen before, and they were giving her a peaceful sensation. She stared at her father's eyes for a long time, as if in silent communication.
She woke up remembering the dream and the beautiful sensation she had felt. She told me she had cried a lot and that she no longer harbored any resentment and anger at her father. She had forgiven him completely. She was feeling strong and confident to go on with her life alone, without her husband. She took up watercolor painting again, something her father had taught her, but that she had not done for a long time. She was starting to live again, to create and trust in life. This client had the Sun in Pisces at the 3rd house in opposition to Pluto.
Another client came to me because she could no longer deal with complicated and destructive relationships. She had a compulsive need "to have someone." She wasn't able to be alone, and many times she had allowed others to invade her, even in a violent way, to please themselves.
After an initial period of work to minimize her anxiety and to restore her dignity (a period in which the work of Echinacea was fundamental), we started to talk about her father. This was something she was reluctant to do, because her present relationship was always the most important issue.
Little by little, some adolescent and childhood facts came to the surface. This client's birth experience was very difficult, and since early in her life, she had a feeling nobody cared about her. As a child she had almost been raped, but no one believed her. She started fearing everything and everybody, especially her bad-tempered father, who expelled her from the house during adolescence. This client had the Sun, the Moon and Venus intercepted in Pisces, at the 7th house. When Baby Blue Eyes was added to her formula, she had the following dream:
She saw herself walking, held by a man who protected her, making her feel respected by everyone around. She felt strong and fearless.
Through this period she started to get interested in spiritual and philosophical questions, and was able to stay home alone for a longer time. Her relationship with her current boyfriend ended when she realized how wrong it had been. Once in a while she still missed having someone with her, but was able to better deal with her ups and downs. She decided to practice Yoga again, to "invest in herself." She used Baby Blue Eyes for a long period. Today she attends a religious association regularly. After a long period alone, she's initiating a new relationship, but keeping it in balance. She doesn't, for instance, give up her landscape gardening classes to meet with her boyfriend.
In my private practice and in my work with needy children, Baby Blue Eyes has been a wonderful tool from the universe of flower essences - especially dealing with sexual abuse. I have worked with children from 7 to 14 years of age, and Baby Blue Eyes has been fundamental in the re-establishment of a positive, confident, and affectionate link with humanity.
In needy communities it is common to see more than one family living in one house, and its members sharing the same bedroom. This provides a setting for sexual abuse involving both boys and girls. In addition, many children are subjected to parents who abuse drugs and/or alcohol, often resulting in domestic violence. From such social and living situations, many individuals develop an indifferent, sarcastic, and withdrawn behavior toward life, often leading to criminal involvement.
However, sexual abuse is a much more common issue than previously thought, and it occurs in every social class. To one client in particular (Mars in Pisces, in opposition to Pluto), this essence was responsible for alleviating her pain in this life and in a past life as well.
As in the cases related before, this client was always getting involved in very destructive relationships. But instead of submissive behavior with men, she was the boss in her relationships, adopting an attitude of power, indifference, and cynicism about them. Consequently, she often attracted partners she could dominate. She soon tired of them, then discarded them.
She came to me after getting involved with a man who had affected her deeply. According to her, this had been the only relationship in which she had truly gotten seriously involved. However, she couldn't continue because despite loving him, she had difficulty demonstrating her love to him fearful of showing herself as vulnerable. She would rather hurt him and be nonchalant. As he had a strong temperament, the arguments were constant, and the end of the relationship imminent.
The pain of this separation made her search for an understanding of her sarcastic and defensive attitude toward men.
She was a daughter born to older parents, who had difficulty respecting and believing in her words. To them, she always "deserved it" whenever an unfortunate incident happened to her - that she was being "severely punished." So when she was sexually harassed by a cousin during childhood, she kept the fact a secret. She felt nobody would believe her. As a result, she grew up full of hatred toward men in her heart. She wasn't ready to love them, but attack them. Baby Blue Eyes was responsible for bringing to light this secret, so deeply hidden in her childhood memory; the secret that was guiding her attitudes toward life and influencing her relationships.
Deciding to go even deeper within herself, she chose to get involved in Past Life Therapy. Still making use of Baby Blue Eyes, she discovered a past life in which she was constantly abused by her father and was forbidden to marry the man she loved. Baby Blue Eyes was fundamental to ease the pain and rebellion brought by these painful memories.
After this phase, always supported by flower essences, my client started a new healing journey, searching for spirituality and for a deep transformation in her approach to life. Some time ago she met the ex-boyfriend who had marked her life and opened her heart. She told him about her personal healing journey. She was able to achieve closure, which in turn left her at peace with her past. Today she's someone strongly engaged in her spiritual mission.
In another case, I cared for a man who hoped flower essence therapy would assist him in his search for personal growth. He had gone through a long phase of physical illness. He had fought cancer and had undergone cardiac surgery. He was depressed and aimless. He was married to a very strong-tempered woman. They didn't have any children and he was going on with his life without enthusiasm.
Professionally, despite being recognized in his field, he had great difficulty assuming authority and would avoid commitments that could put him into the forefront. He had a lot of bitterness against his father, to whom he credited all the wounds in his behavior.
His father had been too authoritarian. An extreme perfectionist and very violent, his father had been a severe disciplinarian to his children. My client grew up in an environment filled with terror and violence, searching for support in the maternal figure who always told him not to be like his father. This client had the Sun in conjunction with Saturn, in Pisces, at the 10th house, and opposing Neptune.
By consulting his birth chart, I could also detect the very strong symbiotic link with the maternal figure that prevented him from positioning himself firmly in life in order to be respected. As my client was unaware of this fact, besides including the Baby Blue Eyes in his flower essence formula, I asked him to do the exercises related to the sixth vision of the Celestine Prophecy's reading guide by James Redfield and Carol Adrienne. (The Celestine Prophecy - An Experimental Guide, Warner Books, 1995). The result was liberating to him.
As he did these exercises, he realized that despite all the suffering caused by his father, he was able to list his father's positive and negative aspects, and identify the characteristics he had inherited from him. With the aid of the flower essence and his memories, my client could relate himself better to his father. He was able to forgive him, and incorporate some of his father's positive characteristics into his own life. It was a great leap in his personal development. Today, besides having a better relationship with colleagues and subordinates, this man has assumed a prominent position in his professional field, attending meetings and congresses more frequently. In addition, he has decided to study flower therapy with the goal of helping people after his retirement. He has also recovered the pleasure of walking near nature, observing and photographing the flowers.
From the experiences in my therapeutic practice it would seem Baby Blue Eyes reaches very profound levels of the soul, healing the pain of all these traumas from a higher and more spiritualized understanding of life. It reestablishes the individual's connection with the Higher Self, recovering the faith and trust in a deeper source of spirituality, the divine Father. In all these cases, besides healing conflicts at the level of personal relationships, this essence awakened creative potential and interest in religious or philosophical questions. Baby Blue Eyes helps the soul remember its original state of wholeness, in a "time" when the Cosmos, Humanity and Nature were one. It is important in developing unconditional love, teaching us to be responsible not only for our own soul wellness but also for the health of the entire planet.
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