BUILDING A CONTAINER FOR RACHEL
Rachel is a 36-year old woman who consulted me because she wanted to discontinue her medications for depression and anxiety. She had recently been diagnosed as bi-polar and wanted to avoid drug use for this condition as well. Rachel was in good health and functioning somewhat effectively in her life. She was working and was also involved in family life with her husband and two children. Her family background included an extensive history of mental illness (including paranoid schizophrenia, manic depression and depression). Rachel’s upbringing was severely abusive both mentally and physically, and perhaps sexually.
Two characteristics that arose during the course of this case related to Rachel’s manic depression, were impulsivity and embodiment. When she became manic, she intensified her energetic state and disassociated from her physical body. This hyper condition allowed her to avoid feeling. In general, Rachel had a detached relationship to her body and a somewhat flat emotional persona. Rachel’s marriage was the key relationship which shifted during her work with the flowers.
In my initial reading of Rachel’s aura, I noted that it was not
on the ground; it was about 4 inches above her feet. Although the aura
was normal in size, it mirrored the etheric body in shape, and was not
elliptical. Her etheric body was slightly taut but had good color (people
who seem to live “too tightly in their skin” can often have
etheric body problems or abuse issues). The colors and energetic patterns
in the astral body were light and diffuse, but were not leaking anywhere.
I saw a major block on the back of her neck and across her shoulders
and received the image of someone “manhandling” Rachel by
grabbing the back of her neck to move her forward. She spoke of a teacher
from her high school days who actually did this to her.
First Cycle: Five-Flower, Walnut, Self-Heal, Arnica,
California Wild Rose, and Yarrow. St. John’s Shield Oil applied
The St. John’s Shield oil was used as an additional stabilizer throughout Rachel’s healing process. This flower essence massage oil contains St. John’s Wort in both herbal and flower essence potency and is beneficial for protecting the astral field during sleep. Rachel applied it to her heart at night to improve sleep and to ritualize the journey of deep self care upon which she was embarking.
During this cycle of essences, a number of significant changes occurred. Rachel’s habit of “leaving her body” by escalating her energy toward a scattered and impulsive mode of behavior had stopped. However, her depressive symptoms worsened. She quit a teaching job during this time because it had become “more of a chore than a pleasure.” The amount of interaction with people that the job required was too much for Rachel while she was experiencing depression. I believe this first cycle of essences brought Rachel into her body consistently enough for her to acknowledge the depression she had probably avoided through her manic behavior.
A new image emerged when I looked at Rachel with subtle sense. Her pelvic region now attracted my attention, bearing a depleted, stiff signature. It looked like the pelvis of a very old woman. I believe that the Arnica began to loosen up the energetic webbing which may have been masking her pelvic region. When Rachel checked in with her body worker, she was informed that her cranial sacral rhythm had slowed and weakened greatly in her pelvic region. Rachel disclosed that she had many reasons to disown this part of her body, that there may have been past sexual abuse and that there was certainly abusive lack of self respect during her twenties which included a lot of sexual promiscuity. We agreed that the next cycle of flowers should be formulated to look deeply into her past and to continue working on warmth and embodiment.
Second Cycle: Walnut, Arnica, Rosemary,
Mariposa Lily, Black Eyed Susan and Golden Ear Drops
After taking this cycle of essences for a month, Rachel reported a significant shift in her marriage. We both felt the flowers were allowing her to more fully express her core identity, although this awareness triggered a strong negative reaction from her husband. The cathartic flowers in this cycle didn’t appear to be overly strong for Rachel. She mostly felt sad and discouraged about her marriage and wanted her next set of flowers to ‘meet her where she was in the moment.’
Third Cycle: Walnut, Yarrow, Mariposa
Lily, Yerba Santa, and Gorse
After finishing this cycle of essences, Rachel reported delightful improvements in her marriage. We both felt that the Yerba Santa had softened and opened her heart, allowing for movement in the emotional quality of her relationship.
Fourth Cycle: Walnut, Yarrow, Yerba
Santa, Gorse, and Buttercup
During our follow-up appointment Rachel expressed her appreciation for this particular formula. She felt contained, warm and open with these flowers. These were soul feelings Rachel had been searching for all her life. Along with this glowing report, Rachel abruptly disclosed during our session that she realized her parents never really wanted her. They were much older when she was born. As a child, Rachel had often been told that she was “a mistake.” She revealed that she became a tom-boy because her father wished for a boy. Rachel realized that she had been inflicting pain upon herself for a lifetime by apologizing for her very existence. It is likely the effect of the Golden Ear Drops, a flower remedy helping to stir the emotional well of memory in the soul, was continuing to work into Rachel’s awareness. Also the Buttercup flower essence had helped her begin to accept and acknowledge her own true worth. Rachel related that she had become aware of how self-conscious and protective she was about letting various body workers see her breathe. Evidently the Yerba Santa was helping her come to more awareness about this part of her body.
Fifth Cycle: Evening
Primrose – A
Cathartic Remedy for Rachel
had taken this formula for 2-½ weeks when she called to
say that her experience of the Evening Primrose was not going
well. This essence mirrored core dysfunctional feelings back to her,
but she could
not resolve them. She described herself as having regressed to her former
emotional disposition that was cool, flat, and withdrawn. She reported
her dream life had come to a complete standstill. Her aura was in good
shape although there was significant energetic compression in the chest
and shoulder region, and her posture slumped. When I “listened
in” for a core emotion, I heard Rachel screaming. Evening Primrose was
working on an intense archetypal level, provoking a catharsis.
Concluding Remarks about Rachel’s Case
Rachel continued with the supportive flower essences of Walnut, Yarrow, Yerba Santa and Gorse, with beneficial results. Since the time of writing this case (more than one year), Rachel has remained free of all medications for depression, anxiety and manic depression. She continues to do emotionally-centered bodywork. Whenever I see Rachel, she reports that she is doing very well.
Rachel’s married relationship went through many changes as her true identity revealed itself, and she eventually decided to end her marriage. She came to me once during a time of great stress because she was considering taking her medications again. She requested a flower essence for emotional support. Chamomile and Star of Bethlehem were selected to soothe and calm her, Bleeding Heart and Borage to protect and uplift her heart, and Yarrow and Walnut to contain her. We added Shasta Daisy to help integrate the formula. Rachel reported later that she was “back on track” and doing well.
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