"I no longer care about other people's judgements"
Note: The following piece is the personal experience of Simona, a young woman of 30 years, who took Joshua Tree for 6 months. Her narrative is like a diary, describing the ongoing changes she noticed. The report is translated as it is, without any comments, as Simona’s own personal experience with Joshua Tree.
I became interested in Flower Essence Therapy in February 2002 following my husband’s experience. For about 5 months I took various flower essences that helped me to be more self-confident, less self-critical and more open towards other people. In July 2002 I became acquainted with “Joshua Tree”.
03.08.02: Going back to work, Joshua let the daily difficulties come up: I could not accept falsity or unfairness among colleagues, as well a the lack of respect for one’s own personality. These situations made me very nervous, impulsive. I nearly lost my temper as I did not accept what was happening.
04.09.02: It has been really a difficult period. Maybe the most difficult. I lived as in a depressive state: I felt very uncommunicative, I did not feel like talking, I felt scared of anything. I was crying very often without a real reason. I did not like myself and I did not like what was around me.
21.09.02: I have started feeling Joshua as a friend, a life companion. At the beginning I took the other flower essences regularly, with precision but with little intimacy. With Joshua Tree this was different: “ I could feel it was really mine”.
10.11.02: I have spent 15 days without taking Joshua Tree: I was not worried but I missed it. I was aware of a certain fixation towards smells and cleanliness.
23.11.02: After taking Joshua Tree for one week, I had dreams every night: there were often many scenarios with different people. I still felt like crying, a strong feeling, as I felt the oppressive judgement of the other people.
19.12.02: I have started having bad thoughts and I was very sad. I often had dreams with water (sea, river, swimming pool) connected to the fear of drowning.
19.01.03: Many things have changed and I have not realized this fact. In the evening when I tell my husband about some events of the day, I do not realize that what I have said and done in situations was once very difficult for me. This makes me understand that I do not care any longer about other people’s reaction or judgement.
03.02.03: I have told my mother of my experience with Flower Essence Therapy. Most strangely I did not cry while telling her about me. On the contrary I felt self-assured and determined. I was disappointed a little bit afterwards because, as usual, she has not understood or approved my choice.
from Depression and Panic Attack
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tel: 530-265-9163 fax: 530-265-0584
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