The Transition of Consciousness from Physical Suffering to Soul Awareness

 

A certification case study

by Miho Kawakami

Editor’s note: This case outlines the incremental transition of consciousness from physical suffering to soul awareness. It illustrates that in some cases there appears to be stasis or setbacks, which ultimately become resolved. These are typical healing patterns to be expected and in this case, they were addressed quite well. Primarily with the essences of Yerba Santa, Echinacea, Self-Heal, Elm, Cerato, and Iris, Miho’s client was able to overcome stress and the resulting physical symptoms. Foremost however, she was able to allow her natural inner strength and confidence to positively express itself in her life situation. This account has been edited and condensed from the original case presentation.


Overview and background information


Major changes observed

 

Healing plans and goals 

 

The therapeutic process

Removing fear that stands in the way of trust

The effects of the essences clearly manifest in the body

Dramatic events and inner change brings strength to the surface

A major shift of the subconscious and a clear-cut polarity

Allowing the outer light to shine while accepting the inner shadow

Overview and background information

N lives with her husband and her 10-year-old son. Her husband is an artist and teaches art in middle school to earn a living. She told me that if he had no family to take care of, he wouldn't mind living all by himself in the mountains. N herself had long worked in the design sector and understands artists. Therefore, she understood her husband's artistic talents and was trying to help and encourage him. Once she began thinking about supporting the family however, she said that she could not help feeling irritated with the way he lived. The couple reportedly had a serious talk about whether they should divorce or not.

Until she had her son, N worked with textiles. She was reputed for her artistic talent and was said to have earned a substantial income. After she became a mother however, she found herself unable to work and take care of her child at the same time; her son was extremely demanding and difficult to raise so she quit working. Before quitting, she felt that even if her husband was doing something he liked—making pottery—and not earning any money, she would just start working again. She herself did not dislike working to support the family.

Her son always caused trouble everywhere he went, at the park and at school. Each time, she had to go and apologize to people. It was under such circumstances that she began making bead jewelry as a hobby. This became her only comfort and source of joy. When her son began attending elementary school, her neighbors wanted her to teach them how to make jewelry and she began holding classes. At present, she makes crystal jewelry and either gives them away to people who want them or displays them at exhibitions after being invited to take part. She hopes to eventually make this jewelry-making her full-time work.

N says that one of the challenges in creating crystal jewelry is the inability to gather the energy that she needs to confront the crystal materials. She said, "A certain healer told me that the jewelry that I made contained tremendous spiritual energy. However, this became a source of pressure for me. I started wondering if it's all right for such an unstable person like me to create jewelry for other people to wear. Won't my negative energy make the wearer's condition bad? Once I start thinking like that, I become more and more worried. Since I cannot work with crystals if I have the slightest physical problem, I end up not being able to make jewelry for as long as a month. There is no way I can make this a paying job in the future if things are like this."

The fact that she was financially distressed drove her to the edge, psychologically. Although she was working at a factory up until six months ago cleaning test tubes, she kept asking herself while working; "What on earth am I doing?" She began feeling from bad to worse. The wheels of her life began falling off, making her feel as if she had nothing but heavy responsibilities. As a result, she grew increasingly impatient. For several years, abnormal signs had begun appearing in her thyroid gland, and the doctor tells her that she is on the verge of developing a symptom. N feels that mental stress is the cause.

I perceived in N an excessive tension and anxiety in regard to the future. What I had consistently made sure to do during my sessions with N was to help her realize that "concentration and relaxation" had been replaced by "tension and laziness." I tried to help her bring out the healthy strength of her soul. Love is the driving engine for "concentration and relaxation" and fear is the driving force for "tension and laziness." I explained to her that I wanted her to learn the difference between the two, not as knowledge but as experience.

N suffered from declining health caused by her stress. The overall goal of the sessions was to restore her body to its original healthy state. At the same time, she hoped to be relieved of financial worries.

After all the sessions had ended, she said, "I have acknowledged for the first time in my life that I was in fact a strong person. I was also able to keep my cool even during difficult circumstances, make rational judgments, and confront such difficulties with courage. Through such experiences, I became able to feel confident in myself." Seeing her, I too, know that she is not just saying these things, but that she is actually experiencing them.

Major changes observed

•Her physical condition improved to the degree that she no longer needs any medication whatsoever.

•Previous problems with her work were resolved, and she got paid for the items she had delivered.

•Her husband was delighted with her inner changes and the couple has become able to communicate more often in a constructive and forward-looking fashion.

•She was able to take the initiative in actively dealing with a problem that her child had caused, and because of this, she was able to restore relationships with people who had been estranged from her.

•She began to enjoy talking with other people in her own, natural way.

Some of the main essences I had used in this series of sessions included Yerba Santa, Echinacea, Self-Heal, Elm, Cerato, and Iris.

Healing plans and goals

In starting the sessions, I asked N to submit in advance a list of things she wanted to work toward; here are some of the things she wrote:
Restore my physical condition to what it was before
Stand on my own two feet
Receive gifts

These are all abstract goals, but I decided to make them more concrete, little by little, in each of the sessions. For the time being, the goal of healing was to become healthy enough again to the point that she could do without the seven kinds of drugs that were being prescribed by her doctor. Her goals for the medium- to long-term were to achieve self-expression through making crystal jewelry and obtain psychological and financial stability that would enable her to connect herself with society, as well as to discover concrete methods for doing this and to become able to proceed toward those goals.

In addition, I set another goal, of acknowledging the strength of her soul and to become able to express it. This did not come about through my directly talking with N at the beginning of the session; rather, it was a goal I had set for myself as the direction for healing. Ultimately however, during the latter half of the sessions, N herself appeared to have become aware of this.

The therapeutic process

January 11, 2005: Removing fear that stands in the way of trust

I asked her to tell me in her own words, the information that is described above. While talking, appearing pale and listless, she was calm and showed no feeling of anger. She explained in a very tranquil and matter-of-fact manner, how her child was emotionally unstable and how she and her husband had discussed divorce several weeks earlier. This, I felt, was by no means signs of her resignation, lethargy or lack of interest but was because of something deep inside her—a strength of sorts that never wavered.

Everything that occurred to and around her was there for her to grow in one way or another. Although she herself did not say this verbally, she seemed to be well aware of this. It appeared however, that since those types of incidents came about abruptly, all so suddenly, she was exhausted from them, not knowing when she would be released from their burden. She seemed determined not to complain; she was committed not to blame anybody else except herself.

This is an account of her physical condition in her own words: "Last month, I was asked to create jewelry to be displayed for Christmas and just as the deadline for delivering the items was approaching, I sprained my lower back and could not go out to buy the materials. I ended up having to create jewelry only with whatever materials I had at home. I had to rack my brains to create items that reflected my style and taste, using only the limited materials I had in the house. This was really a crisis situation. When I overcame it though, I caught a cold that got worse. I had difficulty breathing and I was almost inclined to call an ambulance at one time. My doctor prescribed tons of medications. I still take about 20 tablets per day. I showed them to a pharmacist I know and she warned me that since drugs that were almost like a narcotic were also being prescribed, I should not regard my symptoms very optimistically.

Actually, I am very concerned about continuing to take so many drugs each day. My body may become strange. I have a serious case of constipation also, which is the drugs' side effect. I can tell that my mind is becoming blurred and my stamina is waning. I know I should not continue like this and feel both afraid and impatient."

For this session, I decided to choose essences by focusing on the above-mentioned themes. Since I felt that psychologically, many different problems were being intertwined in a complex manner, I performed a tarot card reading to better understand her condition. What I could read from the cards was N's pattern that she was extremely afraid of trusting her situation and because of this, she was trying to carry out things forcibly with her power, more than were necessary. I felt that she oscillated tremendously between her feeling of strongly believing in her own talents, and the anxiety of seeing them reversed. I concluded that this was further compounded by the fact that she was short of money at the present time.

Essences selected:

Five-Flower Formula: I determined that this was urgently needed because of her physical condition.

Yerba Santa: For her dyspnea. I used it for N's pattern of trying to push all the things to deeply inside her heart.

Borage: This, too, is for things that are brooding heavily upon her heart. This essence is used to lighten up the body and the mind by giving her an optimistic feeling.

Elm: For her extreme tension arising from her responsibility for her life and for her work.

Cerato: To strengthen her sense of trust in herself. Besides the above reasons for using Borage and Cerato this time, I had wanted to use the essences of blue flowers that correspond to the throat chakra. This was because I felt that her breathing became difficult as she accumulated the psychological burden and difficulties without being able to express them outwardly.

As the shape of these essences, I imagined that the Five-Flower came in the center, Borage and Yerba Santa on the left and the right hand side, and Cerato and Elm on the top and bottom.

I told N to take these essences more than four times a day. (This became the standard for all future combinations.)

February 8, 2005: The effects of the essences clearly manifest in the body

(N's account) "I no longer had any coughing attacks whatsoever, requiring none of the medications at all. About three days after I started taking the essences, I was able to get up early in the morning. Although it's still cold out, I now open the windows, bask in the morning sun and take a deep breath. I felt fresh, as if I myself had become a plant. I realized that I had never done anything like this (basking in the morning sunlight)... . I also became able to dispose of things which I knew I had to do but could not until now, and clean up the garden and the rooms. I feel so good, seeing my body move smoothly."

I asked her if she noticed any changes in her husband's or child's attitudes—"Yes, my son comes to me more to be pampered. Although he continues to cause problems at school, I find myself being able to deal with it calmly. My husband notices my changes and tells me that I fret less than before, and no longer cannot do anything because of being confused or indecisive. He told me that I take better care of my everyday life that is at the foundation of it all, such as housework."

She tells me that she overexerts herself less than before. She found that relationships with her friends which had been discontinued for a while suddenly "revived, in quick succession," and told me that she became able to distance herself more from a person in the neighborhood whom she felt was difficult to get along with. Although she feels that she misses her neighborhood acquaintances, she is trying to perceive this in a more positive light, thinking that she is in the process of changing herself now.

I then asked her if she had any current challenges—

"I feel the need to take action according to my true voices. Back when I was working in the textile field, my work was praised for its use of colors. But now, I make jewelry using only limited colors such as white, silver and gold. I am extremely satisfied with this. I feel as though I am finally standing at the starting line. I hope to link myself with the hearts of the crystals and be able to create nice items."

I told her that, to use crystals and create good jewelry, she needed to become a person who is trusted by the crystals. When I asked her what she felt was necessary now, she said that it was to improve her daily life and make them more organized (such as eating and cleaning). It appeared that she knew that it was important for her to make a solid grounding now.

Essences selected:

Yerba Santa, Elm and Cerato: I prescribed these again to help them take hold.

Echinacea: To enable her to bring out her inner strength; to become able to protect herself from stress.

Self-Heal: To enhance self-healing power, and at the same time, to become able to trust her inner strength.

Lotus: To improve the chakra balance and to achieve grounding.

Yerba Santa
Elm
Cerato
Echinacea
Self-Heal
Lotus

From the initial session, I found that her poor health was caused by her feelings that she had shoved deep inside her heart, as well as her extreme tension. Therefore, although visible symptoms had improved, I decided to continue the same essences as before. For this session, I decided to focus on strengthening her ether body and to prescribe magenta essences. Echinacea and Self-Heal were expected to prevent stress caused by interpersonal relationships from being directly manifested physically.

N had shown me a number of jewelry pieces she had made. They were all very lovely; however, I felt that she could make things that had clearer and more bursting energy. I decided that to do so, I had to encourage N to become aware of her inner strength.

In the course of selecting magenta essences, I suddenly thought about Lotus, and showed her the flower's picture. She looked very surprised, and told me that the other day, she found a pair of Lotus earrings that caught her attention and bought them. She said that they would be delivered to her home today. After explaining the meaning of the Lotus essence, I decided to add it to the group of essences because N strongly requested it.

March 8, 2005: Dramatic events and inner change brings strength to the surface

A number of dramatic events occurred for her over the past month. Through them, an extremely dramatic change developed inside her and her strength began showing on the outside.

N's accounts—

1. Her work with jewelry

"I decided to take part in a Group Jewelry Exhibition to be held in July. Although I took part in the same event last year, I did not get along too well with the organizer and decided not to participate this year. However, after stating my views and the organizer accepted what I had to say, I decided to take part once again. This sort of action is something I could never have done in the past.

This month, I received an order to produce a piece of jewelry from an individual who asked me to make something to give to a person as a token of appreciation for having helped with her daughter's wedding. This was the first time that someone asked me specifically to create something. I created a piece with deep appreciation for her having trust in me. The person loved what I had made for her and placed a new order to make another item to give as a thank-you gift to a different person. What a wonderful, rewarding way to work! The style of work that I want to do from now on, conducting exchanges with prospective customers and creating a piece with deep thoughts for those people, has taken on clear shape."

2. Solving her previous problem at work
"Six months ago, I delivered a textile item to a company but did not receive any payments. This has loomed inside me as an unresolved problem. I tried calling and faxing this company but could not contact them for the past six months. Then, purely by chance, I phoned the company, and, to my surprise, the president answered it. He tried to hang up in haste, but I told him that I just wanted to see him and talk, and that I was not blaming him any more. I told him that I would go see him in half an hour and hung up.

I talked with the president face to face, who told me that although business has become extremely tough, things finally settled in court a few days ago and that the company received an order an hour ago from a major company. Although he couldn't pay right away, there are now prospects that money would be coming in, so he would pay me as soon as he could. I worked often with this man in the last ten years, so I knew that he was speaking honestly. Although payments from him were delayed at times, this was the first time that he failed to pay me, so I think I can trust him this time. He then asked me to help out with the textile project he agreed to accept from the company and I agreed. I am extremely relieved that this would improve my financial status just a bit."

3. Changes in her relationships with her friends
"My relationship with my son's friends' mothers has changed dramatically. I grew to alienate myself more and more from those with whom I had been dealing with as a `mother.' Now, I think that my relationships with those people have deepened.

The other day, we made arrangements to have an artist friend draw our family portrait. This artist told me that although he could draw my husband's and my son's face, he could not draw my face well, no matter how many times he tried. He told me that he used up three sketch books already. Something struck me, and I sent him an email as follows: `It is perfectly natural that you cannot draw my face because I have always met you with a mask on. I have never revealed my real self to you. I have realized this recently.'

The artist apparently was very surprised reading my email and replied, 'Now I know the reason why. So I have never seen the real you. You are actually a very strong person and I think I can finally draw a picture of you.' His email surprised me as well because, although people used to tell me how quiet, gentle, sweet or slightly goofy I was, this was the first time that I was told that I was a strong person. So I am very much looking forward to seeing the family portrait completed."

One thing that is common among this series of events is that N has begun to express her strength to the outside world and other people have begun accepting it. Her strength is evident in every single word she said. I then asked her about the second goal which she herself had presented. I asked her what she thought the phrase "standing on one's own two feet" meant to her at this point—"I can clearly say now that standing on my own two feet means to decide things by myself, and assume responsibility for them. In fact, I have begun doing this myself, and I am gaining more confidence, too."

One unforgettable incident occurred while she was describing her meeting with the president about the textile work. The president had been betrayed by many people before and had done many dishonest things for his business' sake, so he was a person who doesn’t trust people in the truest sense of the word. However, she had continued to place trust in him and she certainly believed in him now. When she looked upon herself from his perspective, she realized that he discovered that there was someone who still trusted him. And, she told me that when she realized this, she felt truly relieved that she did not hold a grudge against him or hate him. She added that if she had resented him for the sake of money, this person may have become unable to trust anyone else for the rest of his life.

At this point, I felt that N had experienced the meaning of "acting driven not by fear, but by love." I believe that this had made her extremely strong.

Essences selected:

Echinacea, Self-Heal, and Lotus: I prescribed these again to since the previous session. The aim was to incorporate the strength of the magenta essences and to make the grounding take hold.

Iris: To bring out the power of creation for life itself and the vitality to induce inspirations.

Star Tulip: To listen to her inner voices, and to facilitate the acceptance of messages and guidance and by so doing, to become able to express her innate self.

Larkspur: To assume leadership in her own life.

I designed a combination that could induce her creativity as an artist, as something backed up by strength. I imagined the shape of the essences as follows: A triangle of purple flowers as well as pink-magenta flowers, and an overlapping shape of these two triangles.

April 11, 2005: A major shift of the subconscious and a clear-cut polarity

A major shift of the subconscious and a clear-cut polarity, like light and darkness, were seen.

N's account—
"A personal exhibition for my sculptor husband (his sixth) was held for ten days. For one month before it, I was very busy preparing for the event and dealing with visitors who came to see the exhibition. The atmosphere within the household became so tense that my son became mentally unstable. I decided to have him stay at my parents' house nearby during the period of the exhibition.

Many artists came to see the exhibition. Before, this would have made me extremely nervous and exhausted. This time though, I thoroughly enjoyed meeting and talking with people. Until now, I would have been too shy to talk about myself but this time, I was able to discuss cooking and other familiar topics without being awed by the guests' reputations or talents. During the period of the exhibition, I tried to focus my awareness only on 'light,' and as soon as the exhibition ended, I began seeking 'darkness' as if to balance myself.

First, I began having bad dreams. I don't remember exactly how the dreams went, but in the dream, I am unable to do things; I could not meet a deadline; I could not create attractive jewelry; I could not seem to fulfill my responsibilities and so on. I am on the verge of being crushed by these negativities. When I woke up, I felt that everything would be okay, but this difference was shown extremely drastically.

Even when I was browsing through the internet following various links, I ended up reaching terribly negative websites (so terrible that I could hardly describe in words) and although I got sick reading them, I felt myself absorbed by them and could not shut down my computer. This sort of condition continued for several days.

At the same time, I began feeling a tremendous sense of freedom in my daily life. Until now, the more I liked a particular person or the more I liked a particular store, I could not express my real self. My palms would sweat, I would feel sick, and the people in the store became worried, which made me more sick. I think this condition is what is known as social phobia. But now, this condition has vanished and I can go to places I like whenever I wish to. I am very happy to be able to feel that I am truly free now.”

The essences Star Tulip, Larkspur and Iris were inducing purification for her subconscious self. Her negative aspects were being stripped off in rapid succession, coming to the surface and fading one by one.

I told N, "The fact that light is strong means that darkness will inevitably assume a clear silhouette also. This is the same as the shade under the midsummer sun becoming darker. However, you can accept this as proof of your current strength. Let's try and work so that these extreme shifts will settle down gradually."

All her friends whom she met after a while told her how she had become surprisingly healthy and vigorous. Her husband appeared to be very happy about that also. N told her husband about the mental changes that came about through flower essences and he replied that she had encountered something wonderful, and he, too, could see that her mental changes were exactly the way she had described to him.

The essences selected:

Aspen: To work against her fear of negative things and of nightmares. To enable her to gain peace of mind deep inside her.

Gentian: To become able to believe in her own personal process, to enable her to recover from temporary mental depression.

Impatiens: To work against her impatience and unnecessary tension that she has caused.

Dogwood: To relive the awkwardness due to trauma that has been accumulated deep inside her subconscious.

I selected these essences using an O-ring technique this time. What I had perceived through the O-ring process was that the "light and darkness" (which she had described in her own words to represent the extreme shifts in emotions) that were occurring inside her may have been caused by the traumas buried deep in her heart, with her soul having lost flexibility because of those traumas.

To alleviate her anxieties, I felt that not only Aspen but also Dogwood and Impatiens would provide help, as they would add flexibility to her soul, gradually smoothing out the conditions of her heart, just like a car's steering wheel rotating smoothly.

This is closely related to the third goal she herself had presented to me, namely, "to receive gifts." We definitely need the flexibility of the soul to become able to perceive the gifts that the universe gives us and to accept them without hesitation.

N has become able to clearly perceive her inner strength and I felt that she would next need essences that would guide her to become able to utilize this strength flexibly.

I feel that the formulas would create a shape that looks something like this:


April 27, 2005: Allowing the outer light to shine while accepting the inner shadow

Although it was only approximately two weeks after the previous session, she requested it, so we met. She told me that the nightmares which she had continued to have for a long time disappeared after using the previously-prescribed essences for only three days. She wrote something very impressive on her evaluation sheet.

"By instigating one action, I can now see the actual form of the things I had been afraid of. I was able to reduce the anxieties, little by little, and to restore trust in myself, although very slightly. I realized that I was afraid of fear itself, and was worried about anxieties themselves. As I began to examine the actual form in the back of those fear and anxieties, I have learned the things I should do. I have come to constantly examine the status of my mind in an objective manner."

N had an important experience during this period: Her son was playing with four other friends and caused damage to a person's luxury car and the issue of compensation came up. If this was in the past, she said that she would just take care of the payment all by herself out of reluctance to interact with other people although she was not 100% convinced about paying the money. However, things differed this time.

She called the parents of the four other children and took the initiative to discuss what sort of responsibilities the children should be made to bear. She talked with the owner of the car and they reached the conclusion that they would make the children weed grass on the owner's vast lot for many days, as a way to take responsibility for their actions. During the discussions, differences in opinions became evident among the parents and the mood became sour, but, with N's patience and effort, a conclusion had been reached. She did not give up until the very end.

This incident made N extremely confident, while at the same time, it heightened her awareness of proceeding along the path toward making her jewelry-making a full-time occupation. Among the four other parents, there was one person with whom she was on bad terms for several years because of a quarrel between their children. However, she ultimately became N's biggest supporter and helped organize the discussion toward a peaceful conclusion.

Hearing this, I felt that it was Dogwood that helped her resolve the traumas of her interpersonal relationships related to her son and restored the soured relations to the original smooth state.

In the course of experiencing a variety of incidents like this, N gradually began to perceive her strength. On the other hand, she also realized that she may have proceeded too hastily and could not harmonize with people around her very well. Until now, the balance was tilted to "too little," and now it was tilted toward "too much." Therefore, for this current session, I decided to have her again use Impatiens and Dogwood in the same manner as before, to strike a balance between the two extremes.

Essences selected:

Impatiens: This is because N is beginning to feel impatient about not seeing things proceeding quickly at her own pace. To be used as an essence to deepen her understanding of people around her.

Dogwood: To arouse the flexibility of the soul by resolving the traumas hidden in the depth of her soul.

Cerato: To enhance her trust in herself.

 

 

Iris: To enhance her creativity and inspirations.

 

 

I prescribed Cerato and Iris upon N's request. She told me that of the essences she had used up until now, she wanted very strongly to try using these two again. It appeared that she perceived Cerato and Iris to be helping her to restore trust in herself and to eliminate the sense of impatience she was feeling.

She felt that a new task had emerged this time: she became aware that she was not good in leaving things to other people and to the passage of time; she had the tendency to muscle her way to achieving things. Now she felt that trying to trust herself and others, and to wait, was important for her. I felt that these four essences would help her fulfill this new task.

After having her take the four essences, I conducted a follow-up session. She wrote in her evaluation sheet that her new task was to clarify, in a crystal-clear manner, the gifts she wanted to receive, and to become able to draw up concrete visions. This corresponds to her third goal that was initially set up. N wrote on her evaluation sheet that she continues to see light and shadow in her, that both were inside her, and that she felt as if she was able to accept such a fact.

Other people's impressions of her changed markedly also and N is aware of this. Concerning her husband with whom she discussed divorce prior to undergoing the sessions with me, N said that he had continued to watch her closely and warmly even during times when she was extremely unstable and that she was truly thankful for him. These comments showed that she had been able to build a good marital relationship.

About Miho Kawakami

Since 1999, Miho Kawakami has worked primarily with women who have difficulties with child-rearing and relationship issues at her “Yasuragi no Heya” (peace and relief room). She also regularly holds a flower essence class teaching about the relationship with nature and the cosmos through consciousness of the balance of one’s soul. Since 2004, she has used The Tarot of Camoin Marseille system with flower essence therapy. Now she is eagerly developing and deepening her knowledge with the use of tarot combined with flower essences. She attended the FES Intensive Training in Japan in 2004 and completed the certification process in 2005.


 


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